Credentials and check-lists

There's really only one thing qualifies someone to give relationship advice... and that's their desire to do it. Because, really, who knows better than the rest of us? How do you become an "expert" at shit like that? You don't. 

Sometimes, the best advice you can take is your own. 

I remember sitting at dinner with a group of friends a while back and my friend Henrietta* was doing the "check-list" thing that girls often do with their friends when they're starting/ending a relationship. What's the "check-list" you ask? It's when you sit around with a group of friends and say, as if it were a random thought: 

• "hey, is it normal to ______"   
  
• "do you think it's weird if _______" 
  
• "if some guy you were seeing did/said/twittered _____, would that bother you?"

  

and so on and so on and so on.  The thing is, if you're asking these questions, you basically already know the answers and either a.) Want someone to refute what you think so you can have an excuse to enjoy whatever it is that is enjoyable about your fucked up relationship or b.) Give you affirmation that you're right to think what you think so you can feel validated when you bail out on the relationship.  

You basically want to just talk it out and hear yourself say it and then pretty much take your own advice. It's always some obvious shit that you KNOW is a stupid question. Like, "would it bother you if a guy insisted on playing video games while you gave him head?"  

Well...? Would it...? (call me)

*not her real name, but I always wanted to know someone named Henrietta...